048: Online Dating Dos and Don’ts With Erika Ettin

Erika Ettin is an online dating coach who left her corporate finance job to help men and women develop relationships. Her business is called A Little Nudge, because she gives her clients the nudge and the help they need to get out there and start dating.

In our discussion, she shares how and why she became an online dating coach, client success stories, as well as dos and don’ts of dating. Her clients range in age from 22 to 72, with an average age of 44. If you’re thinking about jumping into the dating game or if you know someone who is, this episode will be helpful as well as entertaining!

Listen to our chat to hear Erika share:

  • Her supporting role in an online dater’s life
  • Why it’s so challenging to write your own online dating profile 
  • Why she created A Little Nudge
  • The difference between a high-end matchmaker and an online dating coach
  • How she helps her clients develop a fuller life beyond dating
  • The link between dating advice and self-image
  • Why people have such a hard time finding the right partner
  • How to get started with online dating (when you have no experience)
  • Recommended online dating websites
  • Unrealistic expectations and how they can damage a potential relationship
  • The importance of dating with a new mindset and fresh perspective
  • The importance of being NATO: Not Attached to Outcome
  • How she ghostwrites responses for some of her clients 
  • Why women shouldn’t offer to pay for dinner
  • Tips for staying safe
  • Going with your gut and doing what you feel comfortable with
  • The importance of auditing your profile 
  • The pitfalls of lying on your online profile

Quotes from Erika:

“It’s all about marketing yourself!”

For whatever reason, people think when it comes to marketing themselves, they don’t have to put the time in, they don’t have to put the energy in. But that’s exactly the opposite of what you should do, You’re not marketing a product, you’re not marketing a service, you’re marketing YOU. 

“I call myself ‘educated-impulsive,” because I’m fairly impulsive but I’ve done the research first. But, once I’m ready, I jump.”

On the decision to start online dating:

“Don’t use online dating as a band-aid, ego-boost, or something to fill the void. Do it only when you’re ready, because it’s frustrating for the other person if they like you and you’re just not emotionally there yet.”

“Don’t think you’re the lucky one who is going to bump into someone at the airport and then it’s love at first sight and you walk off into the sunset. That happens so infrequently! Just like finding a new job, finding a partner is hard work and it should be because it’s really important.”

“I tell people to go on first dates with no expectations – not positive, not negative, just see what it is to meet a new person.”

“It does take work. You know, Rome wasn’t built in a day. Don’t compare yourself to anyone because you don’t know your friend’s standards. You don’t know what goes on behind closed doors. Just worry about yourself.”

Contact Erika:

Website: www.alittlenudge.com where you can find her video series, 90-Days to Dating Success

Facebook: A Little Nudge

Twitter: @ALittleNudge

Linkedin: Erika Ettin